My Food Noise is SO LOUD ‼️

The biggest ick is when someone says to me “just wait until” 

Like come on, I don’t need anymore anxiety in my life, I’ve spent enough meditating hours on working through that.

But as I sat in baby yoga balls deep in the 4 month sleep regression someone said 

“Just wait until the 8 month one” 

It’s a ‘thing’ with having a baby,

You’re equipped throughout pregnancy, you have all the midwifery appointments, you can read all the new mum books, listen to all the podcasts and feel somewhat ‘ready’ for the arrival of your baby.

But the minute you birth, or in my case surgically remove, your baby, you’re literally sent on your way.

I was home less than 24 hours after major surgery, with a newborn baby.

No manual, no instructions, just me and Ayla, together in this big wide world.

We’ve made it to 9 months, and I’m pretty confident now that I am kinda good at this, until it comes to sleep..

We are in sinking sand, and the nights have been pretty rough. 

I hate to admit it, but they were right 🙄 

It’s meant my sleep is poor, 

It’s meant I wake up and STILL feel shattered,

But with a baby, you can’t take time off,

And no, you can’t nap when the baby is napping, especially not on the motorway or out on a walk (the worst advice friends) 

As I walked downstairs this week, saw the pick n mix on the side, I instantly felt like it was talking to me.

I became somewhat preoccupied by it.

My thoughts centred food.

They shifted when I went to Starbucks and saw an almond croissant.

And again in Asda when I saw the Easter eggs.

My food noise IS LOUD.

But the reality is. I have NOT been hungry at any of these moments.

And I am NOT dieting. 

It’s thrown around in the fitness industry that “food is fuel” that you should eat your meal and crack on, 

Have all the motivation to get through your day.

But that’s not the reality.

For most people food does serve a purpose, 

It’s joyful, connection, memories, comfort, energy and even habit.

Food was all of these things for me once upon a time.

In the depths of binge eating food was my only joy, my form of happiness, I looked forward to a binge.

After healing my food relationship, the difficulties showed up in my relationship with rest, I was like the Duracell bunny on crack, never having any time off, couldn’t sit through an episode without “doing something” and tethering on the edge of burnout, exhaustion, food gave me energy, my binge eating, even at my smallest, was purposeful.

While both of these served in my life,

They never met my needs,

Ended up feeling guilty, restricting, only to perpetuate further overeating.

But these were habit loops formed for years. 

Food was the crux for everything during my teens and twenties.

So every now and then, it can come back to me, with noises, or preoccupation.

I haven’t binged this week,

And the pick n mix remains unopened.

That’s not me restricting or being a martyr. 

Like I said I’m not dieting.

But rather leaning on the tools that I’ve built, that centre my coaching, to allow me to be compassionate and forthcoming with what my body needs.

You see while the food noises was loud, I didn’t actually need food.

Food noise was loud because I was, and still am, exhausted.

My body was looking for energy, and that was habit for so long, that my brain still comes up with these ideas now.

However instead of deep diving into the pick n mix and Easter eggs I did the following;

• Grounding breaths 

• Surfed the urge 

• Checked in with physical hunger 

• Asked myself “what is the most compassionate response here to how you feel?” 

• Lower my expectations and seek some rest

Which looked like being in bed by 8:30pm each night with my smut trashy book, 

It looked like reducing my training to reduce the stress on my body, 

It looked like prioritising work earlier on in the day when I had more capacity, 

It looked like getting some fresh air to pick me up.

The challenge many have is that they can’t separate between mental and physical hunger,

Cannot recognise what is stomach hunger or what is a craving,

Years of dieting does this to you, its disembodiment and means you struggle to fiercely respond in situations.

You’ve likely offered all your autonomy to tracking apps, counting calories,

Now a full plate is fullness

And cravings are overeating.

This is where you’ll find yourself stuck in yo-yo dieting, forever consumed by food, your body.

Here we have the principles that support embodiment, that reconnect you to your body, that create a pause, allow you to check in with how you feel and have the strength, courage and awareness to meet your needs. 

Because while I could’ve gone balls deep on sweets, it wasn’t what my body needed.

What do you need? To change the course of direction and feel at one with your body with the correct process to end the war with food and your body? We have that for you.. We have TWO spaces open to achieve just that. Follow the below, lets chat.. ❤️

Thrive with Life Coaching